On the Affordability of Dreams.

I think I can quite safely say that no-one lives the life they were expecting to as a kid. To start with, when you’re that young, your perception of time is quite different, and I think that if you told my 3 year self that people (on the whole) don’t get married at 16, she wouldn’t believe you. Then again, she wouldn’t believe our lack of flying cars, or our constant tendency, as humanity, to blow each other up. My 3 year old self would also not believe my ability to lose a decimal point, and take a good year to notice it, in turn setting my heart on something entirely untenable.

Growing up, I was never the sort of person who had a lot of money. I’d spend my spare time sat up a tree with a book, watching everyone else from afar – wondering why the other girls who lived near me were so pleased to have people take them swimming, because the one lesson a week I had to do with school seemed like a form of punishment. I was quite glad we rarely went swimming, but my sister was not. It wasn’t till many years later that I released the reason we never did these things, why I went to the library instead of going shopping, was because we couldn’t afford it. That bacon grill, a sort of tinned/processed meat, something vaguely akin to spam, featured on the list of things most people would go out of their way to avoid eating, rather than enjoy as a piece of nostalgia.  

I have spent a lot of time, as I guess most people do when their school days are numbered, trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. It had been Canada, but as you may have guessed, that error with the decimal point I mentioned in the first paragraph was one I made with costing up studying in Vancouver. In the words of Les Miserables, I dreamed a dream in time gone by, and now I realise I could never have afforded it. So, I have spent much of the last few days looking at UCAS, the british university admissions system, and I think I’ve found a pretty similar course to the one I was going to do in Canada. It’s in York, which is a nice city, and doesn’t seem to require me to make any impossible leaps in terms of my exam results, which is good – because the time I’ve spent looking all this stuff up is time I haven’t spent studying. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to go to Canada. I have been trying to work out if I can do some sort of 6 month au pair thing, but it is all very confusing. My head is still firmly in the clouds … hopefully in a literally sense (eventually). 



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