Bittersweet

So, it’s that time in my life where everything is changing, and a lot of stuff is coming to an end. Yesterday, for example, was my last time with the year 9 (8th grade?) class I volunteer in. Some of the kids were a bit rude sometimes, but some of them were sweet – and mostly unintentionally, they really made me laugh. (I think the best one was probably when, with a pencil in one hand and a ruler in the other, this boy asks me how to draw a straight line, when the last time I was in the class he’d moaned that his table didn’t look perfect because the ruler was ever so slightly bent). On the whole, I enjoyed it, and I learnt quite a bit from it (less in terms of middle-school geography, more about myself). But now its over. We had a cake (which I made, and I’m quite proud of, and the teacher insisted on me showing the rest of the department), and they were nice, but now it’s over. In less than a weeks time, I’m leaving school (I will still have to come in for my exams, as will everyone else, and there will be paperwork, but next Friday is when we have a church service to all say goodbye), and I don’t know how I feel about it. 

On the one hand, there are a number of people I really won’t mind ever having to see again. I can’t wait to take a break from being stuck behind a desk, working towards one of a number of exams to get me some important letter grade. I can’t wait to kick my gap year plans into action – starting with camping in Devon and Wales, and then building up travelling to Tanzania, Canada, Iceland, and the Faroe Islands (although these plans are very sketchy at the moment and are very likely to change). But then, there are people I will miss – who whether I want to or not, I’m unlikely to see again. I’m going to have to be a lot more independent, looking into stuff that scares me like visa requirements and student finance. I need to decide what I’m going to be doing with the rest of my life – I think I know what I want to do at university, but the two main ideas I have afterwards (Geographical researcher and Pilot) are wildly different and, as much as I hate to think of it like this, every decision I make now seems to take me closer to which one of those two options I can pick. I’m leaving school in a week, and that means leaving my childhood behind; the good, the bad, and everything else. 

– Vicki

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